NewsColony

Even the coronavirus task force can’t stop touching their faces. What chance do you think you have? NewsColony If you are not used to the ways of isolation, here are a few tips on surviving social distancing , or what we should be calling  limited preemptive self-quarantine . If you are currently on the internet, you probably don’t need this advice because, well, look around. But you might print it out and send it to your more extroverted, potentially soon-to-be-desperate acquaintances. (Before handing it to them please laminate it, wash it in a mild bleach solution, and dry it in direct sunlight on a day with an ambient air temperature of at least 70 degrees Fahrenheit and humidity of less than 30%) Help! I want to self-isolate because I am a horrible failure who cannot stop touching my face like Mike Pence does, but I don’t want to go stir crazy in my own house. I want to see my friends. The hermit life will kill me. A common plea. Don’t worry: There are plenty of ways ...